Self-employed or not, you are your most valuable asset. When you work for yourself, you are your own boss - perhaps the only employee so this is especially true. You might be feeling this, that the work just doesn’t get done unless you are working on it (or in it); creating the vision, planning out the ideas, moving the needle, and hustling. For this, and many other reasons, you’ve got to take care of your physical and mental health.

This is something I thought I had down, but it turns out I didn’t and I’ve been struggling recently with valuing myself.

If you want to be happy, you have to make yourself happy. If you want to get back into shape, you have to make it happen. If you have a dream, you have to make it happen. You need to take responsibility for your life and the direction it’s going in. You owe it to yourself - the cold, hard truth is that no one else is going to do it.

Always invest in yourself, and absorb soul-fulfilling material

Seek out motivational materials and courses, podcasts, events, and so on. Read actual books, highlight them, and write out takeaway points.

Here are some to consider reading:

Atomic Habits
How to win friends and influence people
The slight edge
The almanack of naval Ravikant
Show Your Work
The 4-Hour Workweek
The mountain is you
The despite map
The E Myth
Hell Yeah or No
Anything You Want
The Millionaire Messenger
101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think
You’re a badass

Listen to podcasts

Listen to your fave podcasts as you drive, or better still, as you take a walk and reconnect with nature.

Some podcasts I’m currently listening to are:

The Goal Digger Podcast
The Brendon Show
Limitless Life
The BossBabe Podcast

Surround yourself with like-minded, positive people

Surround yourself with people who energize you and make you feel inspired, these people should not drain you of energy. People who have the same goals and understand you. They are your tribe.

Don’t be afraid to cleanse your friendship group and start to distance yourself from certain people. Protect your time, your energy, and your focus.

Take online courses - invest in yourself, your education, and your skillset

The best investment is to invest in yourself.

The best way to recession-proof yourself is to better your value; your skills and knowledge, and what you can bring to a role, a job, a project, a person. Learn that software that you have been meaning to, and go take a course in it if you know it is what your job will require soon, if not now. Brush up on a language or skill, or whatever it is.

I know that learning Icelandic will only serve to help me in my life here in Iceland, in my family, and to feel more settled living in Iceland. I could enroll in an evening class or an online course. In my business, there are always new skills I can be learning and working on; design software I need to brush up on. It’s all about prioritizing.

That being said, you are worth the investment and it will only help you grow.

Attend events

Whether for fun or as a networking opportunity. Don’t be shy. Don’t back out at the last minute. Show up. Meeting people in real life beats social media connections any day.

Show up as yourself and be genuine. Ask the questions, take the notes, introduce yourself and make real connections - listen to the people you meet and try to remember something about them. Networking is not about letting people know about you but it works both ways. Would you recognize that person the following day and remember what you first talked about?

You will meet a lot of people but, much like dating, when you meet people that fall into the interesting category, they might just become part of your ‘tribe’. Pay close attention to them as you probably have a lot to learn from them.

And if you are still chasing that number on social media - if you want followers, be someone worth following.

Talk about your work and what you do

Don’t hold it back like it’s some special secret. If you aren’t sharing it then it doesn’t exist and so it doesn’t matter.

People who are self-employed are often misunderstood by family and friends. For example, I honestly think my family thinks I’m just sitting at home waiting for their facetime calls, but that’s on me more than them. It’s up to me to explain what I do and when I do it. To share my work and its process. Easier said than done.

The way you talk about yourself and your work has a huge effect on how people feel and understand you. Don’t be shy but don’t show off. Learn where that happy medium is for you and for your audience. The same works the other way round. The way people feel and understand you will affect your work so be very aware of how you are showing up and talking about yourself and your work.

Therapy - it’s good to talk

And if you can’t talk about yourself or your work, or feel like you don’t deserve to, then you really need to address this before you can go anywhere.

We all need to express ourselves and it’s healthy to talk, to let it out. Yes, therapy can be pricey but there are online options that are more affordable and possibly fit into your lifestyle a little more. Start small, speak to your partner or a good friend first. Letting someone in, especially your partner is a healthy step in your relationship. It might feel awkward, and you might get emotional, but you will likely both benefit from it.

Yes, we all feel stressed at some point. Be aware and know that this is normal. It’s not ok but it is normal. We also feel sadness, anger, joy, happiness, and everything in between. But be aware that stress, like other emotions, manifests in us, in our bodies, and in our relationships, and you want to keep any personal issue from leaking into work.

Stepping back into the self-employed working Mum life as a family of 4; a toddler and a newborn, with very little family support around us, has been incredibly stressful. Of course, there are highs, and they are often very high, but the lows can be very low. Mix in a global pandemic, a potential recession, and all the struggles of the last few years and you have one exhausted self-employed working Mum (said with a grateful heart).

Be proactive and find a productive way to manage your stress.

And whilst I’m here, get the calm app (or similar) and give meditation a try

Move your body

We all know this but are you doing it? Look after your body so your future self can move.

I recently got an apple watch, haha, but it’s actually helping me move a little more. I obey the message that pings and suggests I stand up, and I love a good challenge so you know I’m working to complete those rings every day.

I’m not here to tell you to get a gym membership or start t train for a marathon, maybe try ‘couch to 5k’ first. Every time you workout, your body releases the natural hormone of endorphins. Endorphins make you feel good, they help with pain relief and can actually reduce stress and improve your mood, so why not get them flowing.

You only have one body so look after it. Exercise often isn’t a priority, especially when growing a business or juggling a full-time job with a side hustle. But being sedentary and working at your desk all day just isn’t good for you. Get a standing desk, take breaks and go outside - do whatever it takes to start moving your body and incorporating that into your day.